How Do I Know If I Am Neurodivergent? Signs of Autism, ADHD and Understanding How You Work
Joseph Oakes
BACP Registered Person-Centred Counsellor
Have you ever wondered if you might be neurodivergent?
Maybe you have spent years feeling different from other people but never really understood why.
Perhaps you find certain social situations exhausting. Maybe changes to your routine can be difficult. You might become completely absorbed in things that interest you, struggle to start everyday tasks, become overwhelmed by noise or crowds, or find that your emotions can sometimes feel difficult to manage.
You might have reached a point where you start asking yourself:
“Could I be autistic?”
“Could I have ADHD?”
“Why do I find things harder than other people?”
“Am I neurodivergent?”
These are questions I hear and think about a lot.
From my own experience and from talking to neurodivergent people, I have realised that understanding yourself can sometimes take years.
Sometimes you don't realise that the way you experience the world could be connected to neurodivergence.
You might simply think, “That's just me.”
What does neurodivergent mean? Understanding neurodiversity in adults
Neurodivergent is a term used to describe people whose brains work differently from what is considered typical.
It can include autism, ADHD, dyslexia, dyspraxia, Tourette syndrome and other neurological differences.
But being neurodivergent doesn't look the same for everyone.
One autistic person can have a completely different experience from another autistic person.
The same applies to ADHD.
This is why I don't think finding one sign and immediately thinking, “That's me,” is always helpful.
It is more about looking at the bigger picture.
How do you think?
How do you communicate?
How do you deal with change?
How do you manage your emotions?
What overwhelms you?
What interests you?
And what has your experience been throughout your life?
Signs of autism in adults: Could I be autistic?
One of the things people often search for is “signs of autism in adults”.
The NHS describes a range of possible autistic characteristics, including differences in social communication, routines, restricted or intense interests and sensory experiences.
But I think it is important not to turn this into a checklist.
You might recognise yourself in some of these things without being autistic.
For example, you might dislike loud noises.
You might enjoy having a routine.
You might struggle with social situations.
You might have a strong interest in something.
None of these things automatically mean you are autistic.
What matters is looking at the whole picture and understanding how these experiences affect your life.
A useful question might be:
“Have I always experienced the world this way?”
Adult autism diagnosis: Looking back at your childhood
If you are asking yourself, “How do I know if I am autistic?”, looking back at your childhood can be really important.
Autism is a lifelong neurodevelopmental difference, so an adult autism assessment doesn't just look at what is happening now.
It can also look at your early development and childhood experiences.
This can be difficult because many people were never recognised as autistic when they were young.
Instead, they may have been called shy, difficult, sensitive, lazy, emotional or badly behaved.
Maybe you struggled at school.
Maybe you found friendships difficult.
Maybe you hated changes to your routine.
Maybe you had very strong interests.
Maybe you spent a lot of time alone.
At the time, nobody may have connected these things with autism.
Looking back as an adult can sometimes change how you understand your childhood.
You might suddenly think:
“That actually makes sense now.”
Autism masking in adults: Why can I seem fine when I am struggling?
Another important search term and topic is autism masking.
Masking can mean hiding or changing parts of yourself so that you fit into situations more easily.
You might watch how other people behave and copy them.
You might rehearse conversations.
You might force yourself to make eye contact.
You might pretend you understand something when you don't.
You might appear confident while feeling completely overwhelmed inside.
This can make it difficult for other people to understand what you are actually experiencing.
Someone might look like they are coping perfectly well while using a huge amount of energy to do it.
This is particularly important when people are looking at adult autism because the signs aren't always obvious from the outside.
Autism burnout and feeling overwhelmed
Another area I think deserves more attention is autistic burnout.
What happens when you have been coping for too long?
You might feel completely exhausted.
You might lose interest in things.
You might become more sensitive to noise or people.
You might want to withdraw from everyone.
You might find everyday tasks much harder than usual.
You might feel like you have simply run out of energy.
For some people, this can happen after spending a long time masking or trying to cope with environments that don't work for them.
Again, burnout can have many causes, so it isn't something that should automatically be used to identify autism.
But if you keep reaching the same point of exhaustion, it might be worth asking why.
ADHD in adults: Could I have ADHD?
Another question many adults are now asking is:
“Could I have ADHD?”
ADHD is often misunderstood.
People sometimes think ADHD only means being hyperactive.
But adults can experience difficulties with attention, organisation, time management, impulsivity, remembering things and starting or finishing tasks.
One thing I think is particularly frustrating is knowing you need to do something but still being unable to get started.
You might want to clean the house.
You might know you need to answer an email.
You might have an important job to do.
But getting started can feel incredibly difficult.
Then you might suddenly become completely focused on something that interests you.
This can be confusing.
You might think:
“Why can I spend five hours doing this but can't spend ten minutes doing that?”
NICE recommends that an ADHD assessment looks at symptoms, development and how difficulties affect different areas of a person's life.
Autism and ADHD together: What is AuDHD?
Some people also identify with both autism and ADHD. You may see the term AuDHD used to describe this combination.
For some people, this can help explain why they experience seemingly conflicting things.
You might love routine but also get bored very easily.
You might want structure but struggle to maintain it.
You might want to be organised but find organisation difficult.
You might become intensely interested in something but struggle to concentrate on everyday tasks.
This can be confusing when you don't understand what is happening.
It is another reason why I think it is important to look at the whole person rather than trying to fit somebody into one box.
Sensory overload and emotional regulation in neurodivergent adults
Another thing worth thinking about is sensory overload.
How do you respond to noise?
What about bright lights?
Crowded places?
Certain textures?
Smells?
Lots of people talking at once?
Some people can cope with these things without thinking about them.
For others, they can become overwhelming.
The same can apply to emotions.
You might experience emotions very strongly.
You might struggle to explain what you are feeling.
You might need time alone before you can talk about something.
You might become overwhelmed and then find it difficult to communicate.
Understanding these reactions can sometimes help you understand yourself better.
Why do I feel different from everyone else?
This is probably one of the biggest questions behind people exploring neurodiversity.
Why do I feel different?
Why do other people seem to manage things that I find exhausting?
Why do social situations take so much energy?
Why do I need so much time alone?
Why do I struggle with things that seem simple to everyone else?
There isn't always one answer.
But exploring neurodiversity can give some people a different way of understanding these experiences.
Instead of thinking:
“What's wrong with me?”
You might start thinking:
“Maybe my brain works differently.”
That change in thinking can be really important.
Counselling for neurodivergent adults: Can therapy help?
This is where I think counselling can be really useful.
Counselling isn't about trying to make somebody less neurodivergent.
It can be about helping somebody understand themselves.
If you have recently received an autism or ADHD diagnosis, you might have lots of questions.
You might be looking back at your childhood.
You might be thinking about relationships differently.
You might be trying to understand masking.
You might be dealing with burnout.
You might be struggling with anxiety, emotional regulation or low self-esteem.
You might not even have a diagnosis yet but feel that something about the way you experience life is different.
A neurodiversity-informed counsellor can provide a space to explore these experiences without judging you.
Current UK neurodivergent therapy services commonly describe support around areas such as late diagnosis, masking, autistic burnout, sensory overwhelm, emotional regulation, identity and relationships.
For me, counselling should be about understanding the person sitting in front of you.
Not simply looking at a diagnosis.
What should I look for in a neurodivergent counsellor?
If you are searching for a “neurodivergent counsellor”, “autism-informed therapist” or “ADHD therapist”, it is worth looking at what the counsellor actually says about their work.
Do they understand masking?
Do they understand sensory overload?
Do they understand executive functioning?
Do they work with adults who are questioning whether they are neurodivergent?
Do they work with people who have received a late diagnosis?
Do they understand autistic burnout?
These can be useful questions to ask.
You don't necessarily need to find somebody who has experienced exactly what you have experienced.
But finding somebody who is willing to understand how you work can make a big difference.
How to know if you are neurodivergent: Don't rush the answer
If you are asking yourself, “Am I neurodivergent?”, you don't need to have the answer immediately.
Start noticing patterns.
Think about your childhood.
Think about school.
Think about work.
Think about relationships.
Think about your sensory experiences.
Think about your interests.
Think about what happens when you are overwhelmed.
Think about what happens when plans change.
Think about how much energy you use trying to fit in.
You can write these things down.
You can talk about them with somebody you trust.
You can speak to a GP or seek a professional assessment if you think that would be helpful.
Online questionnaires can also be a starting point, but they should not be treated as a diagnosis.
Final thoughts on understanding neurodiversity in adulthood
I don't think understanding whether you are neurodivergent should be about trying to find a label that explains every part of your life.
For me, it is about understanding yourself.
It is about asking why certain things are difficult.
It is about understanding what helps you.
It is about recognising your strengths as well as your challenges.
And sometimes it is about finally giving yourself permission to stop comparing yourself to everybody else.
You might not work in the same way as the people around you.
That doesn't automatically mean something is wrong.
It might simply mean you need to understand what works for you.
And perhaps that is one of the most important parts of exploring neurodiversity.
Not asking:
“Why can't I be like everyone else?”
But asking:
“What do I need to be myself?”
Questions to ask yourself if you think you might be neurodivergent
Do I feel different from other people?
Could I be autistic?
Could I have ADHD?
Have I always struggled with certain social situations?
Do I find changes to routine difficult?
Do I experience sensory overload?
Do I mask around other people?
Do I experience autistic burnout?
Do I struggle with emotional regulation?
Do I struggle with starting everyday tasks?
Do I become intensely focused on certain interests?
Am I exhausted after social situations?
Would counselling help me understand myself better?
Would a neurodivergent counsellor understand my experiences?
Should I consider an autism or ADHD assessment?
References
American Psychiatric Association (2022) Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders: DSM-5-TR. 5th edn. Washington, DC: American Psychiatric Association.
NHS (2026) ‘Signs of autism in adults’. Available at: NHS (Accessed: 16 September 2026).
NHS (2026) ‘Autism assessments’. Available at: NHS (Accessed: 16 September 2026).
NHS (2025) ‘ADHD in adults’. Available at: NHS (Accessed: 16 September 2026).
NICE (2018) Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder: diagnosis and management (NG87). London: National Institute for Health and Care Excellence.
NICE (2021) Autism spectrum disorder in adults: diagnosis and management (CG142). London: National Institute for Health and Care Excellence.
Singer, J. (1999) ‘“Why can’t you be normal for once in your life?” From a “problem with no name” to the emergence of a new category of difference’, in Corker, M. and French, S. (eds.) Disability Discourse. Buckingham: Open University Press, pp. 59–67.